Wednesday, January 28, 2009
tHe GifT oF LiFe
When I got married more than two years ago, I told myself that I am not yet ready to get pregnant. To bring another life into my womb and be a good mother are very big responsibilities for me. I was so afraid that I may not be a good mother to my future children.
A lot of people are waiting for our future children until now. A lot were asking why I am not yet pregnant. Others are even wonderin' why. Though others are bravely asking, others just choose to be silent about it. But I know all the thoughts that might have been lingering into their minds. Whenever they ask me why I do not have a child yet, I just tell them the truth. That I am not yet ready and we really want to prepare for it.
When my niece came out into this world, my sister and parents were so happy and I am also one of the people rejoicing. We enjoy having her and it is a very good time for me as well to practice and prepare for my own soon. I told myself that "hands on" is still the best teacher. :p
Every Sunday, we are attending mass and a lot of children are being accompanied by their parents at the church. There are kids who are just passive, others are very active and others are so adorable. Last week was a reality for me. I was looking at a cute little girl and suddenly, I thought of having my own. Then, I told my hubby "Naiinggit na me sa mga buntis" (I now feel envious to pregnant women) and he just smiled at me. That is when I said to myself that maybe this is the right time. Maybe I have already overcome my fear and we are not getting any younger. The last time that my hubby and I talked, we decided to have it this year. I hope that before Christmas of 2009, I already have a cute life inside me. With the help of our LORD, I know I will be fine.