BesT ThiNgs iN LiFe

As they say, some of the best things in life are free. For me, one of the best things I have are my true friends. I have known these guys for several years now and it always feels good whenever we are having a get together. It maybe an expensive dinner, not quite expensive gimik or even a "jologs" night out but it doesn't matter as long as the people are still the same.

Few days ago, Au texted me saying .. " Mama, I'm on leave on Monday. Let's have some fishballs and one day old chicks." At first, I was surprised hearing that from her since she is a very successful career woman working in a multi national company in Ortigas. I never thought that she still misses eating street foods. As a "probinsyana", of course this is something normal to me and I immediately asked "Where?" but deep inside me, I am hoping that she won't say " Sa tabi tabi lang." lol ... Luckily, she has no idea so I was the one who suggested a place which is clean and in a safe location. So, we landed to ...


We really had a great time eating fish balls, squid balls, kikiam, orlian and sharks fin. It was just a very simple eat out but the memory was really unforgettable. Mixed with different stories to tell, we laughed our hearts out. It seems like we haven't seen each other for quite a while (the truth is, we just had a pre-Valentine lunch last Feb 13). I am really proud to say that, our barkada is one of the best and we always have fun wherever and whenever we meet.



After the simple merienda, it was running late so one suggested that we have dinner. We chose a cheap place which is actually like a carinderia but their bbq was so good. Mely's is located just infront of Partyplace. We had chicken and pork bbq, chicken ass, sisig and few bottles of beer for hubby and Au's bf, Whip. Before 10PM, we all decided to retire since Ca's hubby is going to work at 10PM (she wants to see him first before he leaves for work) and Au still needs to wake up early for work the following day. It was really really fun! All I can say is, let's do this more often, guys!

It's BeeN 40 DaYs ...

Baby, it's been 40 days since you joined the Lord Almighty. As they say, you now leave the earth permanently. That means, Mommy and Daddy will miss you forever. You know, it is still painful for Daddy and Mommy (specially me) knowing you won't be back anymore. But with just a prayer, my longing for you decreases. I am sure that you are now happy in heaven and that makes me at ease. I just hope that you tell Papa Jesus to let me see you even in my dreams. Just once please. Even for just a while, I would be very thankful.

As you know, I was not able to see your pretty face when I gave birth to you. I just don't know why. Even when you were blessed, the priest did not allow me to. And when we were about to take you out of the hospital, the nurse advised me not to open you up. Whenever I think of what has transpired, I realize a lot of things. So, I thought that GOD made it that way. In that case, the pain I feel will not be too heavy to carry.

Baby, don't ever think that Mommy did not take care of you. I really did my best and you know how much I like you. I waited for you so long and I won't let you go. However, things happen for a reason that we do not have control of. Things that only GOD knows why it should happen. Since we are not there with you, Papa Jesus will take care of you. Also, some of our relatives will watch out for you.

So, for now we won't say Goodbye rather, See you later. I know that in time, we will be together. To my daughter - Adrianne Jasmine, mommy loves you so much. Don't worry, you will have a baby sister/brother at the right time.

L0Ve AnD HeaLiNg

Its been three weeks now since I lost my precious baby girl. It was a very painful journey for us but we still managed to keep our faith. With the help of GOD's love and grace, we are able to go through each day of our lives.

As they say, GOD never gives us trials which we can't bear. When HE closes a door, HE opens a window. These saying maybe typical but I always believe in them. These have been my guiding principles that's why I am getting stronger.

Few more days and it will be our baby's 40 days since her death. Will I be fully recovered by then? Only time can tell and only the Lord can make it happen. As for now, I just do my part. I always pray for her soul and also for our healing as well.

Despite of what happened, GOD is still good since HE gave me a lot of good persons to lean on. I have my very supportive family - parents, sisters and brothers. And on top of that, a very loving HUSBAND.

During the time of my mourning, my husband never left my side. With just the warmth of his embrace, everything turns out fine. I felt so secure and loved. LOVE helps heal all wounds and TIME completes the healing.

LORD, we lift everything to you now. May your will be done. When the right time comes, we will gladly accept another gift of life from you. In your own time, may it be done.

LittLe AnGeLs

It's Sunday once again so hubby and I attended a mass this morning at 730 and it is the feast of Sto Nino - one of the patron saints of children. After the mass, the priest asked all the children to come infront of the altar for a final blessing. I can't help but feel sad again since I should have been there if only she is still alive inside me. I just told myself that in due time, I will also be able to bring a child for blessing. The pain still lingers but with the help of prayers and hubby's unconditional love, I am able to go through it. I know we will overcome this trial together.

I always try to keep myself busy and one of my favorite past time is surfing the net. I usually check my FB account, Gmail and my personal blog site. God is really good since HE always sends good people to guide us. One of them is my husbby's cousin -Joelyn. Actually, I was inspired to post another entry since she gave me a very nice poem. I was really touched and it did easen up the pain we are having right now. (To JL, thanks much my dear cousin. We love you!)


When GOD call little children to dwell with HIM above,
We mortals sometime question the wisdom of HIS love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world seem wonderful and mild.

Perhaps GOD tires of calling the aged to his fold
So HE picks a rosebud before it can grow old
GOD knows how much we need them, and so HE takes but few
To make the land of heaven more beautiful to view
Believing this is difficult still somehow we must try

The saddest word mankind knows
Will always be "Good-bye".
So when a child departs, we who are left behind must realize
God loves children, angels are hard to find

.... her sweet message, as I quote ....

"just want to share a poem ate. hope this will help even a little bit to lessen the pain you feel ryt now..godbless you and kuya olways ate..wish you ol the best."

mY iNsaNiTy

I feel crazy, I feel lost
I feel like cryin' out loud
Whenever I'm missin' you
I go out of my sanity

My Lord, is this normal?
I felt my heart was torn into pieces
The whole me was crashed
With the lost of my baby angel

But everything has a purpose
What happened was part of God's plan
I always believed of my faith
And will never let go of it

So my Lord I have a favor to ask
Thy will be done
I know this is just a trial for us
And in your own time, we will be healed

GoodBYe my BabY AnGeL

Three days ago, you were just inside me
I can still feel you kicking and stretching
The happiness I feel every time you are awake
Cannot be replaced with anything in this world

Suddenly, everything changed
With just a drop of blood, it all started
It all went too fast that I can't imagine
With just a few hours, you are about to come out

We are so happy to be with you
To hold you in my arms and feel your warmth
However, there is a right time for that
At this moment my love, it is not yet right




For now, all we can say is GOODBYE.
But this is not yet the end of all
I know we will meet someday
At the right time, we will be together

Baby, before you go please listen to Mommy
For you to tell GOD my only wish
That you remain always on our side
To be our guide, our ANGEL for life

bebe@20 weeks

Tomorrow, December 24th my baby turns 5 months! Time runs so fast and after a month, we can already know the gender (this is what we've been waiting for!) I've been so excited and wanting to know if I will be naming a girl or a boy. I've been wanting to buy baby stuff already but oldies say that I should do it on a later time. Huh! One of my friends advised me not to have an ultrasound for it to be a surprise one but I instantly said "No!" since I really wanted to prepare the baby's stuff and other things in advance. For me, it would be easier and convenient to have all the stuff prepared with proper "color". Pink and Blue are very important colors in a baby's life as well as for the parents. I don't want to guess every now and then until I give birth or, just buy stuff which are unisex. (it's hard to find those nowadays!)

I am so excited to have an ultrasound next month on my check up, however, Dra will be giving birth as well! I have no choice but to wait for her :( In that case, it would be done by February which is an additional agony for me. hahaha I just hope GOD grants us what we are praying for and if not, it's fine! It is still a blessing and for as long as the baby is healthy, we are very thankful for it.

So, Christmas is around the corner! Our little angel is the best gift I've received so when hubby asked me what gift I want, I can't think of anything. Maybe, its because I am so blessed in many ways and that, this little angel completes us.

To GOD be the Glory! Thank you for this gift of life.
..And to our Lord Creator, Happy Happy Birthday!